Is not my selfish

Finally understand you in the campus of the university, I've just don't want to keep my heart, the reason I can understand, but I still want to pick you up out of my good, because I know that I could not have with you is the result. You can say I can say I am selfish to contact them.

Seriously or first heard the boy said I am very selfish, at that time I just sneered, no, also didn't want to talk too much opinion.

Because I know what love is, in reality is built on the foundation of a special relationship, the purpose is to marriage, in order to reproduce, and in order to find a path is can not only of the company, and the two men and the emotion to come together and forever. If you are with me, you can be a pain. You said I selfish because you don't know me. On the contrary, also it is because I don't selfishness don't like to with you together. Perhaps my life probably shouldn't have love, let alone the marriage, I don't want to give others bring pain, especially I love the people and I love the people, also don't want to himself in the plight of pain, I am from both sides Angle, consider a problem.

"Health" the problem, it ever let me almost quit school and also let I fell a long long time, in the "long" years ahead, I head full is pessimistic thoughts, melancholy and lonely around me, I blame my parents to I don't care, I think even if I died they won't drop for my tears, then I have no fear of death, but only for the despair of life. Otherwise, I might not like that now down and out.

But now I understand that everything is my ideas are too extreme. They raised five children have not easy, that have extra money, and extra mind tube I health not healthy? How can I will I so grievances and upon them? Poverty makes me lose the innocence of childhood, the young frivolous, I'm just a unbalanced, like a hedgehog hiding somewhere in the world, to protect themselves.

Probably a lot of people will say with me, my worry is redundant, is I asked for it, but no matter what all good, my pain I just want to a person bear alone. I don't accept love, in addition to don't want to hurt others, also don't want others to break into my inner world, I don't want my heart of stray helpless under exposed to bows and arrows, and finally, nothing was black and blue all over.

If I am a perceptual more than rational man, also just, but the opposite is true, in real life, I like to save for a rainy day, also like iridology ways. I don't fit you, maybe I suitable for any one person, I only belong to myself,. Not because of emotional problem, not because two personal feelings are, just you can't accept everything to me, the reality is always a reality, and I understand that only hope you will find the right targets, and love jinxed. And my destiny doomed to in the wind and rain, love too. Shake

I thought of many things calm, based on how I won't have too big reaction, I just want to spend years back happy every day, and try hard to life.

So, I hope you don't break into my world, also don't in my deep heart lifted a wave. You said I selfish or unique feeling need. My decision I will not change, because there is no wrong.